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Back pain can interfere with your sex life and even destroy your relationship if you are not careful. Having sex with severe back pain may be a real challenge. When you live with spine problems, you have to develop new skills and approaches that better suit your lifestyle. In this article, we gathered six tips on how to have sex if you have back pain.

1. Consult your doctor

People usually feel uncomfortable when discussing sex positions with their doctors. But the fact is that most part of the responsibility for the lack of communication between the doctor and the patient lies with the medical staff. Your doctor should actively seek out this problem. Sex should be an important subject to discuss, the same as returning to work or daily activity. If your doctor is not able to answer your questions about sex, it is better to find another doctor who will have a different opinion.

2. Address your attitude

Think about how you feel about your condition and how it will affect your relationship. This is a very common situation when relationships break down when one of the partners suffers from back pain. This is because the reaction to pain is learned behavior. It means that if you decided to be sick, you will be sick. A person who lives with pain often exaggerates things and avoids sex. This is what destroys relationships.

3. Opt for sensuality rather than sexuality

Accept that you may not be as active and flexible in sex as you were before the onset of your back pain. Turn on your sense of discovery and creativity and this will help you adjust your sex life to the level your back can stand. Changing your aims can also help maintain a sexual life despite your pain. Try for emotional connection, sensible touches and fun over hard orgasms.

4. Understand your back problem

A good understanding of your back condition (including which positions aggravate your back pain and which ones are fine) can help you enjoy sex more. Injuries and conditions of your back can be classified by types of movements that worsen the symptoms. It would be better to use this information when choosing your positions.

5. Think over your positions

Think over your positions and involve your partner in this process. Sometimes you can make your favorite position more comfortable with the help of a towel or pillow. In other cases, you may need to discuss this problem with your partner and find way out together.


It is always better to talk about this in advance. Planning your positions is an important step because relationships where both of you can adapt to your back pain, tend to be better than those in which only one partner is concerned about the back pain problem.

6. Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles

One more option is to get your pelvic floor muscles in shape because their strength and flexibility can significantly improve sexual function and help ease your back pain. The fact is is that pelvic floor muscles are part of a basic support system that balances muscle use and stabilizes the posture. Along with their role in sex, the pelvic floor muscles are just as important as the abdominal and lower back muscles in maintaining your back health.

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